Harry Potter: The Fad That Lived

Last night, as I stood in line to see the last Harry Potter movie, I found myself thinking back to my first Harry Potter book. The first time I saw the books, they were a stack in between the children’s section and the adult’s. My mother offered to buy it for me, because the fancy display was eye-catching, but I turned it down for the complete anthology of Edger Allan Poe and a compendium of classic poetry. I was nine.

Come to the next Christmas, and we were having the annual Christmas party, the sort where everybody buys a gift under a certain limit, wraps them, numbers them, and drops them in a box. Then you pick a number out of a hat and that’s your gift. I picked and was thrilled when I felt books under the wrapping. I was severely disappointed when I saw it was a stack of American Girl novels. I had no interest in them. Another girl came to sheepishly explain that that gift had been meant for another girl, and that she thought she had numbered it correctly that the other girl would be infinitely grateful, if only I would exchange gifts with her. I decided that I would rather have just about anything else, and thus Harry Potter fell into my hands.

And now the last movie is out, and the series is done. Except that it isn’t. When J. K. Rowling set pen to paper she wove a timeless spell with a deep, unbreakable magic. I have seen fads come and go, but this isn’t a fad. This is classic being made, one that will one day eclipse new, flashy books in the hearts of little bibliophiles everywhere. This is a book that we have spent our lives on. I’ve personally spent eleven years sitting up all night waiting for the book to be released. And though they never had flash bodies of their own I cried when I lost old friends as though they had. I sat in a sold out theater like so many millions around the world last night, and as spells burst across the night sky I know that we were as one when our hearts leapt into our mouths.

Last night the theater was packed with young children, and for once I wasn’t horrified that their parents let them out to see a movie. For once I didn’t roll my eyes and lament the fall of something great into the hands of today’s youth. Instead I smiled at them and they smiled back, because both knew what we were there for. We both knew that in ten years or twenty, we will still be reading this to our children, and then to theirs. We know that children who want to dress as wizards for Halloween will still think of their houses before dressing up. And we know that in ten years or twenty children will still wait up on their eleventh birthday, searching the skies for an owl with a letter.

Breaking Free

I realized today why I always go back to unhealthy relationships. I was sitting alone, my family having once again abandoned me, and I started to look for somebody to talk to. Nobody online, and I always feel guilty and intrusive when I call or text people, like I’m walking up to their personal lives and forcing them to remember me, and while I know this is foolish I still end up thinking it. The only person online was the person I had sworn to limit contact with because she was one of those people who drew you into madness and trouble of the bad sort, and I before I knew it there was an empty instant message window open and I was about to type “hello”. I closed it, angry at myself, and I asked myself why I couldn’t just be happy alone. The answer was obvious; I don’t like myself, and I hate my own company.

And so, as these thing soften go in my mind, I asked myself why that is. And the only reason I can think of is that I am used to being in these terrible relationships, and that I despise the weakness in myself. And so I asked, “Well then why do I do it? Why do I always go back when I realize there’s a problem? Where did this cycle start?” And the answer to that, of course, is with my mother. Cliche as that sounds, my mother started it. I have never been able to get away from these charming snakes because my mother always sees the blade for the shine and presses me back to these people. It isn’t until something overt and socially embarrassing happens that she will insist that she never liked somebody and that I was a fool all along, and take that to heart because she’s my mother. She’s also the one unhealthy relationship I’m saddled with for life, ‘til death do us part, mine or hers.

I’ve ultimately decided that I can start trying to fix myself, but that will be a slow process and never perfect. I can hope to avoid doing it to my children, but I fear it is almost inevitable. Everything I hate about my mother she hated about hers, and so on as far back as there were women. As soon as I find something that I won’t do, no matter what, I realize that perhaps that’s cultural and I don’t want to lose that, and perhaps I wasn’t so bad after all and maybe the dangers of the world justify that sort of psychological hamstringing, and before I know it my psyche, like all the television horders has broken down and gathered all the trash there is back into itself. Just recently my boyfriend tried to tease me and told me that I sounded like my mother, and I almost cried. I look like her, I sound like her, I have the same eyes. I fear that one day I’ll wake up and be her, and then my daughter will be sitting in her room, crying that she can’t avoid this vicious cycle. I suppose that the best I can do is try, or perhaps just sterilize myself now and save everybody the trouble. I know its maudlin and I’ll never do it, but I can’t imagine a way to ever truly break the cycle. Can we fight nature and nurture both and become a free spirit? Or do having her eyes mean that we share the same window to the same soul, and that we’re doomed to be the same person?

In Which A Movie is Probably Over-analyzed

I was watching AMC the other day and doing a bit of cleaning, and I decided to watch the Chronicles of Riddick marathon as a reward to myself. As the sections of my brain responsible for “Hit him again!” and “Shit blew up!” and “Mmm, dat ass!” whirred into life, I seemed to have unwittingly awoken that mad sleeping giant that is the academic part of my brain. And so, I began to analyze the movies and realized, to my delight, that all of my brain could happily enjoy this. Though an action flick is one of the last places you would think to look for an insightful historical allegory, The Chronicles of Riddick is actually a masterfully updated account of the creation and rise of Islam, and the ensuing crusades.

The Necromongers are a strange cult that rapidly grows into a major religion capable of raising a massive empire. They preach the approach of the “Underverse”, a paradise at the end of all things that can only be reached by the most purely devout. They operate simply, conquering and converting, and killing all that stand in their way. They feel that it is their duty to convert the universe so that they can spread the glory of the Underverse, and so that they can populate it.

This is incredibly similar to the Islamic concept of Jihad, that they must each personally spread the word of Islam to others, so that others can find paradise at the end of time.

When the Necromongers come to Helion Prime, they land in the city of New Mecca. They then congregate the leaders of the various religions that worship there and told them to convert or die. This is essentially lifted from the Koran, in the scene where Mohammad tells the worshipers that their pagan gods are false and assaults them in a fit of pious rage. The Lord Marshall, as we see, is challenged by a man who refuses to convert and rips his soul out as an example to the others. In the Koran, Mohammad then goes on to destroy the shrines of the “false gods”, and the Lord Marshall similarly devastates the city, as he has so many others for their mere existence.

Riddick, we discover, is of a race of extremely stubborn and vicious people who are the last hope of the universe. They are deemed a “different evil” than the Necromongers, due largely to their lack of cooperation with each other, but a necessary one as only a Furion can destroy the evil empire, as a prophecy has foretold. Though it almost seems a stretch, we can compare Riddick here to Jesus. His origin story is also incredibly similar to Jesus’. Riddick was one of only survivors of a massive cleansing that focused on new born males to prevent the birth of a prophesied messiah of sorts.

Now take a step back for a moment. In Pitch Black we find a group of people who are questing across the galaxy on a pilgrimage, each for their own reasons. There is even an Imam, questing for New Mecca. The quest, in typical action movie style, goes wrong and they are beset by monsters, and are picked off one by one as they stray from the group and away from the light (literally and figuratively). Riddick must lead them through a valley (of the shadow of death) to bring them to safety so that they can escape the planet. The only survivors are the Imam, who’s faith was pure and unwavering, and a young child, the innocent and most slavishly devoted to Riddick of the group. The captain almost survived and was delivered, but died instead trying to save them all to atone for her earlier sin of almost letting them die to save herself. This tale is essentially the Canterbury Tales, but then quickly becomes derailed with an action movie plot.

When Riddick and the Lord Marchall come into conflict it is indirect, a matter of vengence and fear. The Lord Marshall is terrified of the prophecy and hunts Riddick, and Riddick fights back for himself and his slaughtered people. The crusades that were so popular in the middle ages are much the same. Granted, the crusades began with the Christians attacking the Muslims for control of their holy lands, but since we only see this snippet of their timeline, we can only guess at the past and accept what they tell us. Riddick does meet a Furion that has been converted who tells Riddick of the times past, where Fruions were noble and proud and great, and then kills himsef rather than continue living with the shame of being a convert.

Riddick goes on to defeat the Lord Marshall, and we see at the end of the movie that he has unwittingly accepted the responsibility of ruling these people. The same can be said for the crusades, when Christian nations tore apart the Muslim lands and again later when Christian nations tore apart the Ottoman Empire. They found themselves ruling a similar yet utterly alien culture. Since there is no follow up story we can only guess at how this plays out. We can extrapolate that he went on to become emperor and put an end to the ethnic cleanings and mass conversions, but this is simply guesswork.

So what does this mean? Frankly, I can’t say. I am a noticer of facts, not an interpreter. This could be my personal imposition of belief over facts, or there could have been a deeper inspiration or message behind the movies. But then again, this may be one of the best retellings of history that I have personally seen in a very long time.

 

In Which the Blog is Remembered and Apologies are Tendered

Hullo everyone, Erica here. Sorry for the ridiculous delay. You’re probably wondering what’s happened with my life. If you even read this. I like to think that you are, but I might just be typing into the Void. Not that it matters either way. But yeah. Uhm. I’ve really got no excuse for my ridiculously delayed absence, other than being insanely busy with being a college student and kicking ass and taking names in stupid lib-arts classes like “Wisdom & Deception” and “Gender in Islamic Societies” and “F is for Fake (or, A Philosophy of Forgery)”.

To prove all of this, I’ve got a treat (not really) for all of you. That is to say, the first paper I wrote for Wisdom & Deception (posted as I procrastinate on the second one, which is due at 10am tomorrow, and for which I have done none of the prep-work or readings).

A note: This paper contains an internal game. Kyra and Jess assigned me five tasks to complete in my five page paper (isn’t that smart of them?), which were:

1) Every third sentence must end with a word beginning or ending with ‘w’
2) Every fifth sentence must contain an internal rhyme or alliteration
3) “Ubiquitous” must appear at least once
4) The conclusion must end with “Ultimately,”
5) A colorblind reference must be made

The State & the Sheeple: On Moral Thought & Political Theory

Good and evil, right and wrong. There are no shades of grey in the eyes of the common man. Fortunately, the common man does not ever need to see the world in terms of anything other than pristine black and white. Morals serve as rules for the peasant class, keeping the hoi-polloi restrained and preventing it from succumbing to the madness that results from indecision. No, it is rather the upper class, what Plato calls the “guardian” class (Plato 9), to whom the shades of grey fall. For these guardians, absolute moral rules become more like guidelines to be retained or discarded as necessary to keep the peasants pliant.

In his essay “On Lying,” Augustine of Hippo presents his readers with a perplexing moral quandary: of these two men, which one is the liar? The man who “says a false thing that he may not deceive, or he who says a true thing that he may deceive” (Augustine 3)? After a rousing internal debate on the subject, he comes to the corollary that the conditions of the lie are irrelevant, so long as the speaker’s conscience remains clear. His conclusion, however, lies within the context of Christian theology—morals, in other words. It is precisely within this Christian framework that Augustine’s argument begins to fall apart.

In his article “Political Action: The Problem of Dirty Hands,” political theorist Michael Walzer presents the three “utilitarian arguments” (Walzer 169) often used to justify the fact that “political actors must sometimes overcome their moral inhibitions” (Walzer 168). His first argument follows the pragmatic approach, declaring that decisions “ought to be made solely in terms of particular and immediate circumstances” (Walzer 169). His third is formed around a pre-assumed perspicacity of morality; leaders must sometimes make questionable decisions, but that these choices should then “[leave] pain behind…even after the decision has been made” (Walzer 174).

It Walzer’s second argument, however, under which a truly excellent leader can stake his claim. This second argument is based around the idea that “moral life is a social phenomenon,” that morals are merely “guidelines” designed to “ease our choices in ordinary cases,” but which “do no more than that” (Walzer 169). Here, the distinction is made clear: these rules are appropriate, even necessary, to maintain order over society as a whole.

This second utilitarian argument is put to meritorious use in Niccolo Machiavelli’s The Prince. In his book, originally scripted as a gift to Italian duke Lorenzo de’ Medici, Machiavelli depicts the different methods by which men come to power, and the best way to maintain that power once it has been acquired. In the chapter dealing with “Cruelty and Mercy, and Whether It Is Better to Be Loved Than Feared, or the Contrary,” he contends that “each prince should desire to be held merciful and not cruel” (Machiavelli 65), but that “it is much safer to be feared than loved” (Machiavelli 66). Fear, he states, “is held by dread of punishment” (Machiavelli 67), whereas love is “held by a chain of obligation” which is easily weakened (Machiavelli 66). He then describes the case of the esteemed classical general, Hannibal, who held together a “very large army” by virtue of nothing “other than his inhuman cruelty” which made him “venerable and terrible in the sight of his soldiers” (Machiavelli 67). The portrait Machiavelli paints of Hannibal is especially compelling in that it demonstrates a man who discarded traditional morality in favor of monstrous actions which resulted in the utter and unquestioning loyalty of an army “mixed with infinite kinds of men” (Machiavelli 67).

The next chapter, “In What Mode Faith Should Be Kept by Princes,” expands on Machiavelli’s previous discourse, explaining the best way to “avoid hatred” (Machiavelli 68) after his reign has been established. He explains that there are “two kinds of combat: one with laws, the other with force,” and makes himself clear that combat with law is always better than combat with force, elucidating that “the first is proper to man, the second to beasts” (Machiavelli 69). However, he adds, “because the first is often not enough, one must have recourse to the second,” so the prince must “know well how to use the beast and the man” (Machiavelli 69). “A prudent lord,” Machiavelli attests, “cannot observe faith, nor should he” (Machiavelli 69). The prince here is not a paragon of saintly virtue, nor is he expected to be. Rather, the prince is above and outside the confines of moral rectitude, required to answer to nothing higher than his own wit and wisdom.

If The Prince is the stream of realpolitic, Plato’s Republic is the glacier from whence it flows. One of the earliest and most ubiquitous discourses on ethics and morality, The Republic outlines Plato’s rules for a transcendent utopia. According to Plato, the key to an ideal republic lies in giving each person over to the tasks for which they are best suited. However, human nature prevents such acquiescence on the part of simple subjects. Socrates suggests the Myth of the Metals as a method of clarification, explaining that each human has a metal mixed in with his soul-stuff: bronze for “farmers and craftsmen,” silver for the “auxiliaries,” who defend the city and keep the peace, and gold for “those of you who are capable of ruling” (Plato 100). These “guardians” with the gold in their souls are “the sort least likely to do the city evil,” the wisest and most athletic of all the citizens of the Republic (Plato 104). They must “guard in every possible way” against the city holding anything beyond a moderate reputation, and they prevent anything “that goes against the established order” (Plato 108). Beyond this, though, the guardians bear one even greater responsibility: to protect the happiness of their fellow citizens.

Plato establishes the soul as a tripartite entity consisting of reason, ambition, and appetites. Each of these qualities is associated with a particular social class: reason belongs to the guardians, the auxiliaries possess ambition, and the peasants are ruled by their appetites. Because the plebeians are so dominated by their appetites, they are incapable of making rational choices, and robbed of their chance at happiness. Thus it falls to the guardians to keep the proclivities of the proletariat at bay, lest it fall prey to their own wants.

Thus the guardians find themselves in a precarious position of power. Their responsibility is, first and foremost, to the city. Its citizens are a secondary concern, whose continued safety is contingent on the safety of the city as a whole. Morals have been sent down by the “gods” or, rather, the guardians acting as gods, to maintain the strict caste system upon which the society is based and upon which the guardians’ power rests. The guardians themselves, as the creators of the morals, can easily break, bend, and twist the rules to their own aims, engaging in such “immoral” but necessary practices as lying to protect the safety and stability of the Republic.

Ultimately, though Plato’s Republic is a utopian thought experiment, and Machiavelli’s The Prince is a handy guidebook to navigating the waters of the most treacherous political climate in European history, the two works come together to enhance and embed Walzer’s second utilitarian argument of political ethics. The men in control are the makers of morals, building and breaking ethical codes of conduct as current conditions demand, colorblind save for shades of grey. The world is their sandbox, the structure as fluid as the substance itself, and the only limit is imposed by the lengths of one’s creativity.

 

If anyone’s wondering…I got an A- on the paper.

In Which Things Must be Set Straight

Jessica Downes

you should take up needle felting

Kyra Reinhilde

Brb, heading back to my mother’s. need an empty room to freak out in.

12:39 AM

Kyra Reinhilde is now offline.

Kyra Reinhilde is now online.

Kyra Reinhilde

so i need to vent to someone logical

Jessica Downes

mk

Kyra Reinhilde

Ashley’s been twitter (and blog) venting, and it took me until now to put two and two together

she thinks I only like her because she’s hot

and that I view her as a conquest

Jessica Downes

*facepalm*

Kyra Reinhilde

for who, me or her?

Jessica Downes

her

Kyra Reinhilde

let me get the relevant post

http://mistressarsenic.blogspot.com/2010/08/love-lust-and-things-in-between.html

I think I’m the second one

she said “you only like me because i’m hot” over the weekend, and I couldn’t think of anything to say

You know how awkward i am

I try to make it clear that I’m interested in her as a person, but she always brushes me off…

Jessica Downes

write her a response to the blog

Kyra Reinhilde

i keep trying to ask her what’s wrong and she won’t tell me

*sigh* see, I’m trying to learn from the last one

she said I was too overbearingly loving

so i’m trying the opposite now and trying to be more hands-off

evidently that comes off as cold

I don’t know what to do, or how to make the argument so that she’ll believe me

Jessica Downes

because ash is like rich, they need to know they’re loved

say something about how you get tongue tied around her, but you’re eloquent on paper, and go from there

Kyra Reinhilde

she saw that flo called her a whore

Jessica Downes

flo can go suck his oen di-OH WAIT

Kyra Reinhilde

and i think someone told her about the bet harley and i had

though it should be noted i bet that we wouldn’t fuck

Jessica Downes

tell her that

tell her that you want to be with HER, not BE with her

(though that IS something you want too)

Kyra Reinhilde

Right, but how do I go about that?

“Hey i was twitter stalking you and I read that blogpost”

honestly i’m only twitstalking her because I’m worried about her

the other day she posted something, and I texted to ask if she was okay. she asked why, i said i was worried, and then she said something like “lol, why are you worried about me?”

ughhh

I hate how much I stress out

Jessica Downes

call her or something

tell her you just want to talk, to hear her vent

Kyra Reinhilde

she hates when people call her

Jessica Downes

text?

Kyra Reinhilde

She’s asleep

she’s going to say that we’ve only hung out twice

that I don’t really know much about her

that I can’t possibly be interested in her for any reason other than the physical

Jessica Downes

and what, polly pocket prosecutor, is your defence?

Kyra Reinhilde

that for the last three days I’ve been having trouble falling asleep because I miss having her next to me. That after she left the house seemed so quiet without someone to argue with all the fucking time. I miss rambling like an idiot and her smiles when I’m being an idiot (which is all the time). I miss listening her tell stories about the ways she’s made people piss their pants.

but that won’t be enough, I know it won’t….

and how can i possibly just view her as a conquest? For fuck’s sake it’s me

Jessica Downes

suggest hanging out more before you add sex into it again?

Kyra Reinhilde

honestly i thought we would, you know? but she came right over and we fucked. Ironically I was the one thinking “am I just a conquest?”

so since she was a little distant I assumed I had to be too…

Jessica Downes

ah, comedies of error. pretty much what happened to me and rich, but it was ME, so i just yelled at him. maybe that’s what you should just do

Kyra Reinhilde

I should talk to her. I just get so fucking tongue tied.

I don’t want to offend her and I don’t want to chase her away and she thinks I’m really innocent

and you know what? I probably am

but god fuckin’ dammit I don’t want her thinking I only see her that way.

But I think she won’t believe me and she’ll hate that I’m lying

even though I’m not

I’m not about to say that I love her or anything, but at the very least I consider her a friend, though I care more than that

Jessica Downes

do you trust me?

Kyra Reinhilde

yes

Jessica Downes

mk. don’t flip

Jessica Downesyou should take up needle feltingKyra ReinhildeBrb, heading back to my mother’s. need an empty room to freak out in. 12:39 AMKyra Reinhilde is now offline.
Kyra Reinhilde is now online.Kyra Reinhildeso i need to vent to someone logicalJessica DownesmkKyra ReinhildeAshley’s been twitter (and blog) venting, and it took me until now to put two and two togethershe thinks I only like her because she’s hotand that I view her as a conquestJessica Downes*facepalm*Kyra Reinhildefor who, me or her?Jessica DownesherKyra Reinhildelet me get the relevant posthttp://mistressarsenic.blogspot.com/2010/08/love-lust-and-things-in-between.htmlI think I’m the second oneshe said “you only like me because i’m hot” over the weekend, and I couldn’t think of anything to sayYou know how awkward i amI try to make it clear that I’m interested in her as a person, but she always brushes me off…Jessica Downeswrite her a response to the blogKyra Reinhildei keep trying to ask her what’s wrong and she won’t tell me*sigh* see, I’m trying to learn from the last oneshe said I was too overbearingly lovingso i’m trying the opposite now and trying to be more hands-offevidently that comes off as coldI don’t know what to do, or how to make the argument so that she’ll believe meJessica Downesbecause ash is like rich, they need to know they’re lovedsay something about how you get tongue tied around her, but you’re eloquent on paper, and go from thereKyra Reinhildeshe saw that flo called her a whoreJessica Downesflo can go suck his oen di-OH WAITKyra Reinhildeand i think someone told her about the bet harley and i hadthough it should be noted i bet that we wouldn’t fuckJessica Downestell her thattell her that you want to be with HER, not BE with her(though that IS something you want too)Kyra ReinhildeRight, but how do I go about that?”Hey i was twitter stalking you and I read that blogpost”honestly i’m only twitstalking her because I’m worried about herthe other day she posted something, and I texted to ask if she was okay. she asked why, i said i was worried, and then she said something like “lol, why are you worried about me?”ughhhI hate how much I stress outJessica Downescall her or somethingtell her you just want to talk, to hear her ventKyra Reinhildeshe hates when people call herJessica Downestext?Kyra ReinhildeShe’s asleepshe’s going to say that we’ve only hung out twicethat I don’t really know much about herthat I can’t possibly be interested in her for any reason other than the physicalJessica Downesand what, polly pocket prosecutor, is your defence?Kyra Reinhildethat for the last three days I’ve been having trouble falling asleep because I miss having her next to me. That after she left the house seemed so quiet without someone to argue with all the fucking time. I miss rambling like an idiot and her smiles when I’m being an idiot (which is all the time). I miss listening her tell stories about the ways she’s made people piss their pants.but that won’t be enough, I know it won’t….and how can i possibly just view her as a conquest? For fuck’s sake it’s meJessica Downessuggest hanging out more before you add sex into it again?Kyra Reinhildehonestly i thought we would, you know? but she came right over and we fucked. Ironically I was the one thinking “am I just a conquest?”so since she was a little distant I assumed I had to be too…Jessica Downesah, comedies of error. pretty much what happened to me and rich, but it was ME, so i just yelled at him. maybe that’s what you should just doKyra ReinhildeI should talk to her. I just get so fucking tongue tied.I don’t want to offend her and I don’t want to chase her away and she thinks I’m really innocentand you know what? I probably ambut god fuckin’ dammit I don’t want her thinking I only see her that way.But I think she won’t believe me and she’ll hate that I’m lyingeven though I’m notI’m not about to say that I love her or anything, but at the very least I consider her a friend, though I care more than thatJessica Downesdo you trust me?Kyra ReinhildeyesJessica Downesmk. don’t flip

In Which Men Are Evaluated

Ladies, what have you done? I say you, and not me, because I had no hand in this travesty. What travesty, you ask? Men today.

I heard a young woman complaining at a cafe the other day, that her boyfriend wasn’t talking about his feelings enough. Her boyfriend, she said, would not spend all of his time with her, that he didn’t cry at romantic movies. THIS IS A TRAVESTY.

To be quite honest, I don’t cry at romantic movies. I felt that Sweeny Todd was one of the sweetest love stories I’ve ever seen, and the Notebook was just more fluffy trash. Now, having dated a man who spoke about his feelings non-stop, I can tell you damn well that this is sickening. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to be smothered. Real men share their feelings the way my current boyfriend does:

Babe, good news! _____(event here)_____! Isn’t that great?

Babe, bad news. _____(event here)_____. Doesn’t that suck?

Today? Today was…meh.

There are no unnecessarily romantic gestures that are so antiquated and cliche as to be meaningless. No, he simply accepts that when he wants me to know, he’ll tell me. He accepts that when one of us is happy, they’ll mention it, and if one of us is sad, we’ll mention it. When he was concerned for his grandfather’s health, he told me. When he was concerned that he needed a job, he told me. And when he was excited that he got the job, and that his grandfather was doing better, he told me. He doesn’t spend every waking moment doting on me, because I would be smothered. He doesn’t need to call me midday and tell me how he’s feeling unless something has changed. And we are HAPPY.

Nobody should drown their partner in an avalanche of cliches. My ex did. Before you ask, this isn’t a rant about him, he’s simply a convenient example. He went on and on about his feelings, to the point where I no longer had time to think about my own feelings. Men are supposed to be MEN, not women. They have feelings and should express them, but not to the point where they smother us. They should be neat and groomed, but they should never use more product or spend more time in front of a mirror than us (shaving doesn’t count).

TL;DR

Men need to go back to being men, and stop being women, because if I wanted to date women, I would.

The Union of Our Thoughts #1

Hi, all! Jess and I decided to do something REALLY crazy and do a “joint” post for our shared blog. Insanity, yes?

Erica
So, recap for the reader(s): Today, Jess and I took the next step in our relationship. Yes, we changed our relationship statuses. Keep in mind, loves, that we are both very single, and very straight…But the subsequent freakouts of my friends and family would suggest otherwise.
Jess
i was thinking about the whole “no face to face connection” aspect of internet relationships, and realized that the web cam and the careful use of emoticons has pretty much blown that out of the water
Erica
So true. Honestly, I feel like the pen pals of days gone by were MUCH more invasive…I mean, you never saw these people face to face, never heard their voices, and yet you conversed with them as if they were your best friends. Surely the stalker potential there is MUCH higher when the person you’re talking to knows your name, age, address, school, and gender by first contact.
Jess
this is VERY true. and part of the whole appeal of the internet for talking, for me at least, is that you go there when you WANT to talk. if i have something to do, I don’t go on, and nobody talks to me. But with something like a phone, I get calls in class, or I’m home and somebody just shows up while i’m in the shower
there seems to be JUST ENOUGH anonymity to make it safe and appealing
Erica
Exactly! Just look at us. We’re internet friends who met via a mutual (in my case) internet friend. I think it’s really cool how social processes as a whole are basically reversed…Online, you get to like or dislike someone because of their personality, THEN as time goes by you begin to learn secondary things like socioeconomic status, physical appearance, etc. It’s kind of refreshing.
Jess
There was a study that used the six degrees of kevin bacon game for a social networking theory. It turns out that you can drop a package in Africa (I think it was rural Kenya, but I may be wrong) and get it to a specific professor Boston in less than 6 mailings. I LOVE that we are no longer restricted to the people we meet in the street or in our neighborhood, and that we can have friends ALL OVER.
Erica
My “real world” friends don’t get it when I talk about my friends overseas, and it always makes me giggle when they get that blank look on their faces as I go, “Oh, yeah, I met him/her online and we hit it off.”
Jess
It boggles my mind that more people don’t understand. What makes me any more likely to like a person I meet on the train or in a mandatory college class than a person I meet on a forum that shows that if nothing else, we have AT LEAST ONE common interest?
Erica
More importantly, what makes it any more likely that the person you meet online will be a serial rapist, whereas the creeper on the train is not?
Jess
Of the MANY creepers I’ve met on the New York subway, I must say that I feel safer talking to people online. I’d rather see some dicks through a screen on chatroulette and be able to click “next” than have a dick waggled at me on a train at two in the morning.
Erica
Yeah…I can honestly say that’s never happened. My creeper experiences have always been in coffeehouses XD
But in all seriousness, it’s about time that people start becoming more web-savvy…My six year old sister is learning to type in school this year.
Jess
As a Mac user, I don’t know how tech savvy I can be called, but I’ve learned to not be techphobic. My parents are still learning how to use social networking tools, though I have to say that my brothers and grandparents have taken to it like ducks to water
Erica
Your grandparents? REALLY?
Jess
Yup! We’ve found all sorts of estranged family and a bunch of Grandma’s old friends from back in the day
Erica
Hahaha, that’s amazing. I love Facebook.
Jess
My family in Venezuela gets to keep in touch too, and I can keep in touch with my family in England and Ireland
I’ve essentially watched my baby cousin grow up, despite the fact that he’s in Ireland
Erica

Yeah, that’s kind of what I’ve done with Sister. Dady’s always putting up random pictures of her lol.

Jess
And if we didn’t use the web like we did, we’d miss out on SO much!
Erica
I KNOW!
Not to mention keeping up with my damn social life.
Jess
Oh GODS yes!
Erica
SERIOUSLY
MY SCHOOL sends out stuff via facebook now
Jess
So did/does Tech!
Erica
It’s, like, beyond me!
Don’t even get me started on relationship statuses
and Facebook Official
Jess
That’s like the MLIA where the guy got down on one knee and offered a girl a mouse to ask her to make their relationship Facebook Official. I thought it was really sweet.
Erica
If the girl didn’t say yes, she needs to be slaughtered
Jess
She did. That’s why it was an MLIA
Erica
True
Jess
And that’s another thing. Little things like MLIA and postsecret give people an outlet to express themselves in the most fantastic ways! They can bring you extreme joy or touch you with their sorrow and grief. Its stunning.

Jess will be here on the morrow to tell you all about the Alice in Wonderland sneak preview she’s currently attending.

<3

Francois the Texas Snowman

Ladies and gentleman, something amazing happened today. I finally have photographic proof that global warming is a lie: It snowed today in Austin, TX.

This is epic for multiple reasons, not the least of which being what I was doing in the last two pics (just Sunday!)

The Reasons:

1) I get to see snow for the first time since I was in Pennsylvania over the winter holidays

2) My second period class went out in front of our school and had an epic snowball fight

3) I got to make Francois the Snowman, pictured above, my first ever pygmy snowman.

4) Because snow doesn’t exist in Austin, tomorrow school starts two hours early, making this the second late-start day in a row

5) This snow day follows on the heels of my first college acceptance letter (to the University of Vermont) !!

Also, I have a date on Saturday with a Nice Jewish Boy. Hopefully everything goes well!

<3

P.S.: Jess has not, in fact, disappeared. She’ll be posting within the week.

Nerdgasm #1

That’s right, ladies and gents, we have a new category! Nerdgasm!

Anyone reading this should know that Jess and I are both incredibly nerdy in our own ways. We balance our nerdiness with general sexiness and fashion awareness, but nevertheless, we are, in fact, closet geeks.

Which is why this makes me incredibly happy.

Everyone should know that our humble little blog is, in fact, named after Firefly, Joss Whedon’s  post-Buffy space western. If you’ve not seen Firefly, you should.

Anyways, I just had to share!

<3

In Which Erica Writes an Essay

Howdy folks!

The topic for this essay was originally supposed to be about the theological implications of nature vs. nurture, and how the conflict affects both western literature and religion. HOWEVER, I got sidetracked, and then the paper is due tomorrow, and then I realized that this is really the type of thing one does for their dissertation, not for a single essay for an AP English class. That said, Jess said I should post it. So here goes!

This is one of about a thousand essays I’ve written this year, and I may put more up just so that I don’t feel like my senior English class has been a total waste of life.

On Monster and Man, and What Makes the Difference

Is man inherently evil? If no, what creates the horrific figures with which history is littered? If yes, what are the implications for the Christian tradition on which so much of western literature is based? Theologians have grappled with these issues for centuries, while various authors of all denominations mounted their own expeditions into the depths of human psyche. However, neither artist nor scholar can come to a definite conclusion about what makes a monster and what makes a man. Few works illustrate this uncertainty as clearly as Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights and John Steinbeck’s East of Eden. While the conflict of natural impulse and learned behavior is apparent in the main characters of each novel, it is embodied most clearly in two pairs: Wuthering Heights‘ Heathcliff and Cathy, and Cathy and Cal of East of Eden.

East of Eden is a story primarily about human nature, and the influence of free will in that nature. When we first meet Kate (Cathy) Trask née Ames, we are told she was, “not like other people,” a sociopath who once might have been “called possessed by the devil” (Steinbeck 71-72). She has no concept of empathy, or love; the world “was aimed to hurt her,” and she refuses to see otherwise (Steinbeck 549). As Evan Vreeland so eloquently stated, “She was born evil.” On the other end of the spectrum, we have Cal Trask, Kate’s son, who struggles with his dark side for the duration of his childhood and teenage years. Convinced that he is “not good,” he starts down the same path of self-destruction of his mother before him. However, Cal, unlike Kate, after a discussion with his brother’s ex-girlfriend, Abra, realizes that he, like her, is “’pure’ nothing and thus has the choice to be anything” (Barnes).

I’m still unsure whether Wuthering Heights is parallel, perpendicular, or across the universe from East of Eden. At first glance, they seem to be complimentary, their archetypes fitting neatly into the boxes we find for them. The books themselves are not, “as different as moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire” (Bronte 79) but there is a sense of incompatibility one gathers as he reads. It is not so much comparable to jamming a square peg into a round hole, but more comparing bananas to carburetors. Heathcliff and Cathy are as different from Kate and Cal as possible, though this might be the reason they so often occupy the same space in my thoughts. Cathy is a “banshee,” as wild as the moors she inhabits, and is neither a human with whom no empathize, nor a supernatural being to understand (Albrecht). She acts “against the rights of all that is civilized and sensible” (Bronte xxiii) and therefore cannot be placed into typical classification. Heathcliff, unlike his lover, is relatively easy to classify. He’s the embodiment of tall, dark, handsome anti-hero, and as much as Nelly Dean assures Lockwood that he was born “ill-humored,” (Bronte 54) his surly disposition is surely the byproduct of his horrible mistreatment at the hands of his so-called benefactors.

Somewhere in the midst of my essay, I discovered that my question was not as cut and dry as I first thought. The lines between comparison and contrast have blurred, and suddenly my neat archetype boxes need to be dodecahedral. These characters are more than just round; they are multi-faceted, they rip apart the fabric of tropes in which they are initially wrapped and burst out with questions of their own. Perhaps in this respect, nature vs. nurture is irrelevant. What matters is that East of Eden and Wuthering Heights have managed to thoroughly capture their readers, drawing them into worlds neither completely foreign nor singularly familiar. Maybe the whole point is that the characters are merely a canvas on which a reader can broadcast himself.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed that little foray into “HOW TO BULLSHIT A PAPER 101″

<3